Funny Job Titles :: Phlebotomist

Some job titles just have a funny ring to them. For example, I would never be a “phlebotomist”. The name alone makes me giggle. I wouldn’t be able to hold a straight face any time I said it. Imagine being at a party (in screenplay format):

Stranger
So, what do you do?
Me
I’m a… well… a phlebotomist.
Stranger
Eh, a what?
Me
A phlebotomist.
Stranger
I see. Is that related to botany?
Me
No. It’s…
Stranger
Wait! Don’t tell me. A person that works with
the throat? You know, because of phlem?
Me
No, not even close. It’s phlebotomist.
p-h-l-e-B-o-t-o…
Stranger
Phleboto? Phleboto? Wait, I remember now…
It was my trip to the tropics.
Me
Tropics?
Stranger
Yes. I remember now. Phleboto, phleboto…
Phlebotomus! Yes, that’s it!
Me
No, that’s not…
Stranger
Yes, yes it is. Clear as day. Phlebotomus,
man-biting sandflies! Nasty little buggers.
Got me all over. Had me itching in places
I normally wouldn’t talk about.
Me
Yes, well, I’m sorry to hear about that.
Stranger
Yeah, you’re a bug person! Wow, what a unique job.
So, can you help me with the itching? I could
show you the bites.
Me
Er, um, no.

 

11 Comments

  1. David Simoni

    I like Robert Fulghum’s job title. It changes depending on whom he’s talking to on a long flight. When asked: “What do you do?” he will sometimes respond, “I’m a Respirateur” leading people to guess what he does. Finally he tells them what it means: he’s a breather. He does that more than anything else after all. Fulghum is the author of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

  2. Magster

    Actually, when you tell someone you are a phlebotomist, they usually associate the word with “labotomy.” Then when you do tell them what the word means, they look at you like you’re a freak!!

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