Acme Voodoo Doll ™

A little silliness for you.

Acme Voodoo Doll Kit ™

  • Acme Voodoo Doll ™ (1 item)
  • Print out your Acme Voodoo Doll Kit ™. Then, locate a pair of sharp scissors. Oh, we like scissors… Now, cut out the Acme Voodoo Doll ™ and the Acme Voodoo Pins ™. If you cut yourself, save the blood in a little dixie cup for later. Grab one from the water cooler at work, but don’t let your fellow workers see you. Workers always get pissy when someone steals the cups and drips blood in them.
  • Select the person that is the target of the ritual. This should be rather simple since we all have that “one” person that “deserves” a little special treatment. You know who I am talking about… that pesky neighbor, your girl/boy friend, that guy always hanging out near the water cooler, or your boss! Go ahead, write all the names down, we can handle them all.
  • Got your victim? Good. Now write their name on the front of the Acme Voodoo Doll ™. If you have some blood saved from earlier, use it! All the better to write their name and it looks cool.
  • Now the fun part. Take one of the Acme Voodoo Pins ™ in your left hand. Yes, the left hand, you know the wicked hand, the hand the nuns forced you not to write with since it was the devil’s… You get the idea.
  • Place an image of the person in your mind. Begin thinking about all the bad things that person has done to you. Work up a good lather but don’t froth at the mouth.
  • Ready? Raise your left hand high above your head. Feel the power of the pin and your curse about to be unleashed. Now bring your hand down to the doll and stick the Acme Voodoo Pin ™ into the Acme Voodoo Doll ™. Mash it in. Raise and stick again and again. Feel the energy? Feel the transfer of bad into the doll? Yes, it is good. If you hear a yelp down the hall or in the next cubicle… well, make sure nobody was watching or they might “pin” you to it.
  • Feel better? Repeat steps 5 through 7 for the remaining Acme Voodoo Pins ™. If you still haven’t worked it all out, dash to the copier to generate some more of those nice little Acme Voodoo Pins ™.
  • Ready to tackle your remaining foes? Go back to step 2 for each new victim. What joy! Our amazing Acme Voodoo Doll Kit ™ can be used over and over and over…

Thanks for being a good customer.

!!! Special Offer !!!

Forward a copy of this Acme Voodoo Doll Kit ™ on to your friends as our gift to you. Make sure to only send it to friends since you wouldn’t want this to fall into the hands of your enemies.

-= Acme Voodoo Products Division -=

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